It’s a Familiar Tale
Like a vast majority of overweight people, I have been heavy nearly my entire life.
I couldn’t attribute my size to pregnancies or injuries; the fact was I’d always been the “fat girl” and, though I very much wanted to be not-fat, I never did anything to change my situation. Well, that’s not entirely true. Every summer break between school years, I’d try to crash-diet, lose a bunch of weight (at this age we’re talking 15-20lbs) and come back the next year looking better than ever.
Looking back, it makes me incredibly sad to think that I wasted my adolescence on pining for a skinny body. It never happened, and I graduated high school in 1999, still overweight.
My “a-ha” moment arrived in late 2006 while looking at pictures of myself at a recent wedding (thankfully or sadly, I have no copies of those pictures to post). I’ve always been good about hiding from the camera, but they got me, and they got me good. Later that night, I saw a commercial for a clinically monitored weight loss plan called Lindora. I took it as a sign. Long story short, it worked a miracle on me, and I lost 70 pounds within just a few months.
…And then it didn’t work, because I was constantly craving sweets, and other such forbidden foods. The train flew off the tracks, and I gained all the weight back plus another 12 pounds. Self-loathing doesn’t even begin to describe my underlying and perpetual mood.
This unhappy, fat life would be me for a few more years. I can’t pinpoint another “a-ha” moment; I just finally got my act together in May of 2011 and, wait for it, signed up for Lindora again. This was when I didn’t know any better; I just knew that it worked before so it would probably work again. After just a couple weeks on the plan, I ditched it, went low carb on my own, then finally found the light with Weight Watchers. The PointsPlus program helped me to lose 135 pounds. Corporate got wind of my success, so they flew me out to NYC so I could tell my story.
In July 2013, I got into the best shape of my life, and my lowest adult weight (145ish) by doing New Rules of Lifting for Women and completing Whole 30. That is when I decided to finally get skin removal surgery on my stomach, arms, and breasts. You can read all my posts on the topic here.
Hindsight is Always 20/20
If only I knew then what I know now: “145ish” is a good, healthy weight for me. I spent so much time striving for the textbook healthy weight for my height of 128 that I couldn’t see I looked and felt perfectly fine. I became disheartened, lazy, maybe even cocky, then got myself into a serious relationship, which led to a 30+ pound gain over the course of a year and a half.
So here I am again! Except this time, I have a 30lb weight loss path ahead of me instead of a 140lb one, and I’ve more or less graduated from Weight Watchers and moved onto calorie/macro tracking.