Somewhere along the line, in the last year or so, I lost my weight-loser identity. I had my surgery and was done. I TOLD myself I wasn’t done, but my subconscious was like, dude you’re totally done, go nuts. Crack and I started getting serious, which meant going out all the time with not a care in the world about what I put in my body.
I stopped blogging. I stopped reading blogs. I barely tweeted and would only post updates here and there on Facebook about my half-assed attempts to get back on the wagon. You guys aren’t idiots; you almost always know the deal when a blogger does that = they’ve gained weight.
Let’s cut to the chase. The highest recent weight I’ve seen on the scale is 180.8. I came dangerously close to ripping off the 100 pounds lost badge on my vest. My heart fell into my surgically repaired stomach. I got sad…real sad. But I didn’t wonder how I got there; I knew exactly what I’d done. That was my weight on September 1st.
So I got serious about losing it, finally. I tracked every day on Weight Watchers. After many, many attempts over the last two years, I finally finished Stage 1 of New Rules of Lifting for Women. The end result was a loss of five pounds in about five and a half weeks.
…And then we went on vacation. Despite being in hilly San Francisco and walking everywhere, reaching my highest step count ever at 26K, and then cooking our own healthy meals in the cabin at Big Sur, I managed to gain four pounds back. Maybe I should be thanking my lucky stars it was only four pounds. I mean, there was a lot of booze and pretzels and decadent breakfast meals had up there.
It took me a few more days (and a cousin’s wedding) to snap out of vacation mode before getting back into it, and now I’m in stage 2, week 2 of New Rules. This stage includes cardio intervals and slightly more emphasis on core – both of which I suck at. I’m welcoming the “beating” my body is getting though. Even though I significantly upped the weight each week in stage 1, I never felt completely and utterly wiped at the end of any workout like I have been in stage 2.
My eating has become an amalgamation of points tracking and straight up calorie counting. I’m calorie counting mostly because I want to make sure I’m getting all my protein in and not going overboard on sugar (e.g., fruit). It’s been working well for me. I generally do not have cravings and don’t feel I need to repent for eating a peanut butter cup.
I don’t know my exact weight, but it is somewhere in the mid 170s. Oy…it doesn’t sting as much to say that anymore, but it did for a little while. I hated even scrolling through the depths of my camera roll because if I saw my former smaller self I’d get all sad again. Eh, I can only blame myself for having to go through this again, so I shall suck it up and move on.
Pictures! The top row is from September 1st, and the bottom row is from earlier today. By the way, even at my lowest weight and right after my tummy tuck, I still had that little apron of skin hanging over. The surgeon can only remove so much to allow me to still move in the torso.
No mindblowing differences, but just enough to let me know that I’m at least doing something right. And yeah, I totally need a new sports bra (this one is pre-boob surgery).