Ahem. Sorry.

Somewhere along the line, in the last year or so, I lost my weight-loser identity. I had my surgery and was done. I TOLD myself I wasn’t done, but my subconscious was like, dude you’re totally done, go nuts. Crack and I started getting serious, which meant going out all the time with not a care in the world about what I put in my body.

I stopped blogging. I stopped reading blogs. I barely tweeted and would only post updates here and there on Facebook about my half-assed attempts to get back on the wagon. You guys aren’t idiots; you almost always know the deal when a blogger does that = they’ve gained weight.

Let’s cut to the chase. The highest recent weight I’ve seen on the scale is 180.8. I came dangerously close to ripping off the 100 pounds lost badge on my vest. My heart fell into my surgically repaired stomach. I got sad…real sad. But I didn’t wonder how I got there; I knew exactly what I’d done. That was my weight on September 1st.

So I got serious about losing it, finally. I tracked every day on Weight Watchers. After many, many attempts over the last two years, I finally finished Stage 1 of New Rules of Lifting for Women. The end result was a loss of five pounds in about five and a half weeks.

…And then we went on vacation. Despite being in hilly San Francisco and walking everywhere, reaching my highest step count ever at 26K, and then cooking our own healthy meals in the cabin at Big Sur, I managed to gain four pounds back. Maybe I should be thanking my lucky stars it was only four pounds. I mean, there was a lot of booze and pretzels and decadent breakfast meals had up there.

It took me a few more days (and a cousin’s wedding) to snap out of vacation mode before getting back into it, and now I’m in stage 2, week 2 of New Rules. This stage includes cardio intervals and slightly more emphasis on core – both of which I suck at. I’m welcoming the “beating” my body is getting though. Even though I significantly upped the weight each week in stage 1, I never felt completely and utterly wiped at the end of any workout like I have been in stage 2.

My eating has become an amalgamation of points tracking and straight up calorie counting. I’m calorie counting mostly because I want to make sure I’m getting all my protein in and not going overboard on sugar (e.g., fruit). It’s been working well for me. I generally do not have cravings and don’t feel I need to repent for eating a peanut butter cup.

I don’t know my exact weight, but it is somewhere in the mid 170s. Oy…it doesn’t sting as much to say that anymore, but it did for a little while. I hated even scrolling through the depths of my camera roll because if I saw my former smaller self I’d get all sad again. Eh, I can only blame myself for having to go through this again, so I shall suck it up and move on.

Pictures! The top row is from September 1st, and the bottom row is from earlier today. By the way, even at my lowest weight and right after my tummy tuck, I still had that little apron of skin hanging over. The surgeon can only remove so much to allow me to still move in the torso.
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No mindblowing differences, but just enough to let me know that I’m at least doing something right. And yeah, I totally need a new sports bra (this one is pre-boob surgery).

Does this mean I’ll be regularly blogging again? Probably no more frequently than once or twice a month. But you can always catch me on Instagram or Facebook! Until next time…

When you have a weight loss blog and are actively losing weight, it’s fun to write about all the things you’re eating and stuff you’re doing that’s making the scale your friend. Over the last six months, maybe even more, I can count on both hands how many legit “Reduce Mode” days I’ve had in terms of both eating and exercise. Most of them happened pre-surgery.

I’ve weighed myself (on a regular scale, not the Quantum one) twice in the last several weeks, and the number was the same both times…ready for it? I weigh 160. Eeeeehhhh…I could panic. But I won’t. Okay I’m lying, I am somewhat panicking, but I am putting it into perspective. I was expecting a much higher number. I think 160 might be my body’s new set point aka “comfortable weight,” which is something I will have to break through.

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These photos were all taken at company holiday functions (2009, 2011, 2013). At least I can still make 160 look good, right? HEY BE NICE.

This morning I got up and cooked for the first time in weeks. Scrambled eggs and avocado. That’s probably what I’ll be having the next several breakfasts because this is what my fridge has looked like for a while. Longer than I care to admit. What am I, in college again? Wait I never went to college.

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I promise you, I haven’t given up, not even a little bit. I’m just honing my “maintenance” skills…right? Right? Right. With it being the end of December (and still in the 70s, Cali what what?) it would be too easy for me to check out and completely give up until January 1st, but I won’t.

This will probably be my last post of the year. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

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Only two posts in October? I would apologize, but then again who likes reading forced blog posts anyway? So, I should really say “you’re welcome.” What’s new, friends? The first part of this post is gonna be a cop-out, rehashing of notable Facebook and Instagram posts I’ve made since the last time we talked.

Like the first time I was recognized outside of my circle of friends from my Weight Watchers success story. Also the day I found out I was on the app (incorrectly calling me a Meetings Member).

The day I had lunch with amazing runners at Yard House in Downtown LA. Many of them were from out of town to run the Rock ‘n Roll LA Half Marathon. (Photo credit: @pavementrunner)
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…including my Weight Watchers sister, Dani from Weight Off My Shoulders.
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That time Francelina from Biggest Loser 14 said I’d given her hope.

And when I dressed up as Psylocke on Halloween, then compared it to my last photographed Halloween costume. Then used one of those ridiculous Halloween themed backgrounds.
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As you can see, Bow and Sioux most definitely wanted in on the Halloween action as well. Don’t be fooled by the looks of contempt on their faces; they’re just trying to be cool.
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As for exercise and activity? Still chugging along. Last Tuesday I did walk/jog intervals for a distance of 5K at a respectable time. Any stamina I’ve built up during my training days is gone; it’s like I’ve got chain smoker lungs again. The next day, my coworkers and I hit up a cardio bootcamp type class where the focus of the day was abs. By now I am cleared for pretty much any exercise, but holy shitface is my core super weak! That was Wednesday. It is now Sunday, and I am still incredibly sore all over. Getting out of bed, sneezing, coughing, getting punched in the gut by the dogs…it’s as if I’m recovering from the tummy tuck again.

And as for nutrition…still half-assedly tracking on both WW eTools and My Fitness Pal. Still having an on again, off again relationship with the 7-8 pounds I’ve gained from my lowest weight. One would think that it’s frustrating, but it’s not, because I know what I’m doing or not doing that’s keeping me from my ultimate goal weight. That unicorn is becoming less and less important to me as time goes on, but it goes in phases. I am currently in the phase where I’m like “FUCK YOU, NUMBER ON THE SCALE! I STILL LOOK GOOD (pretty sure I think)!” Which is an awesome segue into the next subject…

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This week I am really excited to be trying out the Quantum Scale that was sent to me to review and give away to one lucky reader. I programmed my “starting weight” this morning, and will test it out the rest of this week, finishing off with a review and giveaway next weekend. Stay tuned for more!

Measurement June 1st June 30th Difference
Body Weight 153.8lbs 154.2lbs +0.4
Body Fat Percentage 0.0
Bust 35″ 35″ 0″
Waist 31″ 31″ 0″
Hips 37.5″ 36.5″ -1″
Right Bicep 12.5″ 12″ -0.5″
Right Thigh 21″ 21″ 0″
Favorite Accomplishment: If I had to choose just one, it would be running in my first 10K race on June 9th, with a pretty decent time too.
Overall Grade: C+*

Somebody call the waaaambulance, because I am in a shitty mood, and had been in a shitty mood the entire weekend. Saturday morning, I ventured out to run my scheduled four miles. This would be my first time running in six days because I was really undisciplined and skipped my two midweek short runs. I don’t know if this is true for everyone, but if I don’t keep a steady schedule of workouts with no more than two days of rest between, I feel like I’m starting over from the beginning on my next workout. In hindsight I should have done the four miles on Friday so I could have Saturday to recover if needed before Sunday’s race. (This is me foreshadowing.)

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Thanks in large part to 30 little green, weird-smelling, but effective EnergyBits tabs, and sheer will, I ran the four miles at the park without any walk breaks. I felt good enough afterwards to get a weight circuit in, but I think that’s where I messed up. Though I am always conscious of good form, I must have aggravated something in my knees while doing squats. Later on in the day, after waking up from a much needed nap, my left knee was in a lot of pain when I moved or bent it certain ways. Walking was difficult. I iced it, elevated it, and prayed to the running gods that it would magically disappear the next morning. Trying to ignore the pain, I went to the expo anyway and picked up my race packet, set all my alarms, and laid out my gear before going to bed.

When my alarm woke me at 4:30am, I swung my legs out from under the covers and tested my weight on my knees. So far so good. I softly bounced on the balls of my feet. Hey, this may work! I did some butt kicks and OW WHAT THE HELL, NOW MY RIGHT FOOT HURTS TOO!

Photo Jun 29, 7 09 56 PMI don’t know what it is about running that has made me super emotional but I crawled back under the covers and wanted to cry. There were no tears, just sort of a dry and over dramatic wail. For the next two hours I stared at the clock, in bed, and contemplated going anyway. Instead, I sulked and moped pretty much all day, occasionally breaking out into my dry wail when I’d pass by my race bib laying on the table.

For fugg’s sake, get a grip, self. It’s just a 10K. It’s a 10K in hot ass Pasadena where it’s gonna be over 90 degrees. It’s not like it’s the half marathon that I’ve been training for. But I really and truly was excited for it, and who doesn’t get bummed out when something they’ve been eagerly anticipating doesn’t happen? I think I pushed myself too hard, and too quickly. So after a lot of debating and over analyzing, I abandoned my current half marathon training plan (WAIT–KEEP READING), and will be taking the next 9 days off running.

During this break, I will fit in some of the other things I miss doing, like spinning (not so hard on the knees), and maybe this kettlebell class at a studio that opened up across the street from me. It’s also warm enough to do some swimming; also easy on the joints.

On July 9th I begin my new training plan, which is great because it basically picks up where I left off, but also adds some speed work later on. The timing is perfect too; it ends on October 26th and my half (Rock’n’Roll LA – use code PAVEMENTRUNNER10 for $10 off! Thanks to PavementRunner.com for the tip) is on October 27th. My original plan would have ended on August 24th and I wasn’t sure how I’d be preparing for the half with two months to spare. Without a schedule I probably would have winged it, which could be bad news.


Have you ever run in costume? For someone like me, who just wants to finish the race in one piece, running in costume seems extremely cumbersome and annoying. I get super aggravated when I’m running a few miles and my freakin’ earbud cord gets in the way. It looks fun on paper though. Maybe I can be festive with a headband. Or pair of wings.

*About my C+ grade…

If you just look at the numbers, the month of June was a complete bust. I gained weight, and I didn’t actually lose as many inches as I thought I had. It wasn’t so bad, but when you factor in how hard I’ve worked and how decently I’ve eaten, one would expect that I would pull better numbers. My grade should have been a D.

But I don’t want to look at how my June went based solely on numbers. I did some pretty good things in June. I ran my first 10K. I upped my longest distance to 7 miles. And the following week upped it to 8 miles. Best of all, I finally quit smoking. Probably the most important factor in my health and well-being, way ahead of weights and measures.

Do you ever feel like you’re trying to reinvent the wheel when attempting to lose weight? My entire weight loss career has been a Planes, Trains & Automobiles of weight loss. I feel like I have wasted so much gas trying to get to the one place I need to go, but I also keep forgetting that, despite all the detours, I am much closer to “home” than I was yesterday, six months ago, or two years ago.


The left picture is what I think of when I read about all my other friends who are at, or within ounces of, their goal weight. It is stupid of me to think that way when I know first hand that it is the actually the picture on the right for almost everyone, not just me.

I can’t hide it well when I’m moody, can I? Probably why I’m terrible at poker, or lying, or telling parents their baby is “cute.” Last month I proclaimed that “June would be better” than May, and though I’m not supercalifragofficially counting my stats until Sunday the 30th, today’s check-in was a flop. Over the last four weeks, not counting the huge PMS gain/drop/wash out in between, I gained 0.4 pounds. That could change for better or worse come Sunday, but not by a lot.

Activity or nutrition weren’t issues at all (well, I have enjoyed a few happy hours this month, but nothing crazy). One can argue that I’m training for a half and shouldn’t expect to lose any weight. Or, because I’ve quit smoking, it is inevitable that I am going to gain weight. (For those keeping score: 13 days cigarette free and 8 days completely nicotine free!) The bottom line is, those are all excuses, and could have been circumvented if I was really, really strict about things. Or…if I really want to live and die by the scale. Which I don’t.

I feel good about myself and I feel healthy. Ditching the smelly smokes has made me cranky here and there, and I’ve had to mentally squash a few cravings, but it will only ever be a wise decision on my part. And last Sunday, I added another mile to my “longest distance completed” record with a pretty decent average pace, too! I had to stop and restart this run because a quarter mile into the first attempt, my pants kept falling down and I had to go home to change. On the way home, I was near tears (and I don’t cry, ever, really) and wanting to give up completely. But I didn’t.

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I refused to believe that after all the hard work I’ve put in to better myself in the month of June, that I wouldn’t get ANYTHING measurable out of it, so I pulled out the tape. When you’re honest about what you’ve been up to, at least one of these things, the scale or the tape, ain’t gonna lie. I was pleased to see that I am an inch or more down in almost every body part, or the same in the parts that I can’t really help, like my boobs and my thunder thighs. Full comparison stats, including weights and measures, will be posted on Sunday afternoon.

Sunday afternoon, when I get home from my second race!


Despite its name, the Pasadena Marathon had to cut the 26.2 out due to lack of city approval and permits, so they’re only having the half marathon, 10K, 5K, and kids’ fun run. I’m doing the 10K because, just like my first race, I already have 6 miles on the training schedule that day. Two birds, one medal. Also? Practice! Unlike my first one, this race is a medium-sized official event with an expo, vendors, street closures and all that fancy stuff.

Anyway, circling back to the title of this post: Reinventing the Wheel. I am debating even talking about this because who knows how dedicated I will be, but on Monday, July 1st, I’m starting Whole30. A new way of restricting disguised as a new way of eating. It’s like Paleo but stricter. Super strict eating. Totally up my alley, right? My girlfriend and I are doing it together, so maybe that will help. I’ve read about any downsides of doing this while also maintaining a rigorous workout routine (like running), and the first-hand accounts varied wildly. Everyone is different, so I won’t know how I’ll handle it until I’m knee deep in it.?I am really and truly going to try my best; I love the idea of consuming no sugar or processed crap, but no promises.

Though the plan to update my weight on the blog remains a monthly thing, I get on the scale every Friday morning to check in. It wasn’t an A+ type of eating week, and I had some fatty sushi the night before, but my menu was very reasonable and my workouts were good. So you can imagine my utter horror when I hopped on (and off, and on, and off, and back on again) and saw 160.6 pounds…!!!


A gain would not have surprised me, but a 6.8 pound gain?! I dusted off my mental manual of common weight gain causes and went down the list.

  • Overeating? Not really.
  • Undereating? No, and not applicable here.
  • Lack of exercise? I logged 28 miles (run/bike) and lifted weights. Nope.
  • Too much sodium? Possible.
  • Period? Well it’s the week before so…DING DING DING!

Even though it’s the week before my period, and I’m always bloaty/gainy during this week, I’ve never gained this much. Maybe it’s a combination of a few things, with PMS being the main culprit. I certainly don’t feel like I’ve gained almost seven pounds, and for me to have truly gained seven pounds of fat I would have had to eat 3,500 calories over my BMR each day. I couldn’t even have done that during my heaviest days.

Despite being armed with all this knowledge of how fucked up the body works sometimes, and truly believing that “it’s just a number,” I allowed it to dictate my mood the rest of the day. Part of my bad mood was thanks to being out two days for dental surgery and coming into the office to a pile of work taller than me. But if I’m being honest, I let the gain bring me down. I felt defeated, discouraged, and disgusted. I rebelled and ate hash browns, bacon, a lot of buttered toast, pretzels, an Biscoff cookies for breakfast.

My rebellion carried over to lunch when my girls and I celebrated the week’s end at the gastropub down the street. A chicken pesto melt that could have easily served two (I ate 3/4 of it), french fries instead of a side salad, and two beers. We also split a giant ice cream sandwich cookie. I might have been too drunk to care at that point, but the buzz wore off by evening and I was a little more sensible with my dinner as to not have a completely disastrous day.

By this morning I was over it and had moved on. Ran an easy-paced four miles around the neighborhood, then showered and finally went grocery shopping. My kitchen was bare, and had been bare for weeks. I honestly don’t know how I managed to eat?! I didn’t eat out a lot. I must have played MacGyver with a lot of kitchen staples I had on hand, like frozen fruits and veggies, probably a lot of eggs, Shakeology shakes, and oatmeal. Nevertheless, kitchen’s stocked now, and I’m ready for a good week. Tonight the dogs and I are taking it easy; I’ve got a 5am wakeup call tomorrow morning for my first real race!* The only goal I have for the race is to find a decent parking spot, and to be home by 9am so I can nap the rest of the day.

*I did a 5K years ago but it was for charity, and we walked almost the entire thing.