My [dimply, pendulous] Badge of Honor

droopySo…skin. The largest organ of the human body. It is elastic to a point, which explains why some lucky women’s bodies snap back into pre-pregnancy shape after giving birth. If you’re overweight you might think, well why can’t that happen for me too? Because 9 months (more like 4-5 months) of stretching does not compare to years and years of obesity. Building muscle and losing weight slowly might help if you have less than, say, 50-60 pounds to lose. But again, if you are/were morbidly obese, there comes a point where your skin gives up hope of ever seeing its friends on the other side of your stomach again.

It’s kind of a bummer. You exercise, eat right, only to lose your boobs and have them replaced with two wet socks hanging from a clothesline. Attempting jumping jacks without a compression top is an attempt to defy gravity. And you can forget about that automatic bikini body after finally reaching goal. Pretty sure I’d fit in a size 2 if not for the loose skin that I have to tuck behind my belt. All of the adjusting, pulling, yanking, and SPANX just to make sure you look a bit more put together than you feel.

If you’ve lost a bunch of weight, you already know what I’m talking about and I’m preaching to the choir. However, chances are, I look at my loose skin a lot differently than you. Sure, I catch a glimpse of my naked self in the mirror and am immediately reminded of Droopy, but it kind of makes me laugh. Look, I’m as cynical as they come, but I like to wear my skin as a badge of honor rather than a ugly reminder scar of a previously reckless life. That is all in the past, and I only have a bright, healthy, surgically removed future ahead of me. Maybe I have the luxury of looking at it positively because I do have the means to go the surgery route later, but still, be proud! Trust me, you will take the loose skin over filled-to-the-brim skin any day of the week and twice on Sundays. And trust me, with the right clothing, it is very easy to disguise. I snicker whenever someone comments on my faux tiny waist. Are you ready to see what the ugly truth is? Are you sure?

Okay, first, let’s start with some horrifyingly embarrassing, half naked “before” pictures taken years ago at about 240 pounds, which was not even at my heaviest.

003_102106_239lbs 004_102106_239lbs

When you lose 135 pounds, it looks like this.

Photo Jan 11, 4 35 13 PM Photo Jan 11, 4 36 28 PM

And when I bend over? It looks like this. That line down the side of my stomach is where my ribs begin. And damn look at those thunder thighs! Haha! Side note: I’m still about 20-25 pounds overweight, so there is still quite a bit of fat hanging in that skin.

Photo Jan 11, 4 29 56 PM Photo Jan 11, 4 29 39 PM

Let’s not forget the bat wings!

IMG_1029

But lucky for me, I know how to hide it. So that’s why I will take the loose skin over the 135 extra pounds, any day of the week, and twice on Sundays.

112-1248_IMG Photo Dec 18, 4 57 16 PM

59 thoughts on “My [dimply, pendulous] Badge of Honor

  1. January 12, 2013 at 6:07 PM

    What a great post, Mae! You’re rock’n hot.

  2. Angie
    January 14, 2013 at 12:32 PM

    Great post. I think it’s awesome that you shared the before and after pictures. The grey sweater dress is beautiful and you look amazing in it 🙂

  3. January 14, 2013 at 3:47 PM

    I LOVE you for posting these pictures! I’ve lost 120 pounds now and in my head I’ve always had this vision of a svelte tight body – now I look in the mirror and it’s “hello reality”! I still have around 75 pounds to lose and I know the loose skin is just going to get worse but you know – you are so right, the loose skin is way better than the weight. You look amazing and I love your courage!

  4. January 15, 2013 at 7:15 PM

    Loose skin is a dirty evil bitch. But I laugh at it too. When my flab slaps during a workout I can’t help but giggle. And when I lean over and I get the same thing you do, I call it my four boobs. Well more like pancake tits. Along with laughing I cry sometimes too. It’s frustrating to work so hard and then have to deal with this. But like you, I much much rather have this than the extra 165lbs!

    Also, thank goodness for clothes that hide!!

  5. January 16, 2013 at 8:15 PM

    Thank you for this post. I can’t imagine that it was easy. You are brave & I admire you so much for it.

    Could you maybe do a post on confidence & how you deal with it? I hope to one day be in your shoes and have a similar type of badge. But I know that I still need to work on the mental part of this journey and one of the things I lack which is confidence. Same for body image.

    Also tips on hiding loose skin would be greatly appreciated.

    You rock my friend!

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  7. February 22, 2013 at 9:43 AM

    Yes you do know how to hide it! I hope to learn this trick of yours as I continues to lose.

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